Every woman is a MOTHER.

Mother's Day can be a hard day for those who are struggling with infertility and child loss.  It can be one of those days filled with lemons.  I know it has been for me in the past few years.  This year is different.  I was asking myself how it could be different...I am still childless and I should have been having a baby in July.  Let me share a little experience that led me to this conclusion.  I AM A MOTHER.

Last night I went to dinner with my family.  We were going to celebrate Mothers Day.  We sat down and the waitress came to the table.  The first thing she said was "If you're a mother...Happy Mothers Day."  Without a thought I found myself saying..."Thank you!"  After saying that I quickly had a thought...why did you say thank you?  You are not a mother.  I quickly counteracted that negative thought with...YES...I am a mother.  Mainly because I decided it was so in spite of not having children.

My hope is that every woman realizes that whether or not you are married or have any children...you are a mother!  We are all born with a desire to nurture and take care of those around us. We all find ways to do this. Sometimes without even realizing it.

 There may come a time in your journey to bringing children to this earth when you will loathe mothers day.  You may hate it because you don't have kids so that naturally means you are not a mother right?  Wrong.  You may not want to stand up when they hand out mothers day flowers or gifts at church because quite frankly you feel embarrassed that you are childless or feel like your not a real woman because you can't have kids.  I am here to tell you that you are not alone in these feelings.  I KNOW that Mothers day is a bittersweet day for a lot of women out there.  I am also here to tell you that you are in fact, without a shadow of a doubt, a mother.  

I have come to realize that I am a mother to someone everyday.  A lot of times for me I feel like a mother when I am around my nieces and nephews.  They bring me such joy and I feel such a deep love for them that I cannot imagine loving my own kids any more than I love my nieces and nephews.  For me...that is enough.  I also know that not everybody has nieces and nephews.  To them I say find a way to be a nurturer.  I know for one of my friends she had a dog that she doted on.  He was and still is her baby.  Another friend of mine often asked if she could take her friends children for the evening.  There are a lot of different ways to be able to be mom here on this earth while waiting for your own children to come.  Don't let the adversary convince you of anything other than this...  YOU ARE A MOTHER...or a FATHER for that matter.  

 I remember struggling a few years ago and a lady in my church came up to me hugged me tightly and simply said..." Happy Mothers Day.  You are a mother."  I don't know if she knew what we had been going through but that simple phrase was all I needed to hear right then.  While I obviously cried at those words I whispered a "Thank you."  as that is all I could get out. 

For those of you who know someone struggling this Mothers Day may I say to you be sensitive and understanding.  While everyone is different, we all want the same thing.  We want to be reassured  that we are as much mothers as anyone else.  On that note I say HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all the women out there.  You are a mother in my eyes...and most importantly in the eyes of our Heavenly Father who loves you and is mindful of what you are going through.  Sometimes it is hard to believe he is mindful of us in these moments...that is a topic for another time.