Accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative.

I have recently realized that as we go through trials positive thoughts, or feelings rarely cross our minds.  Why is it?  I think it is in part because we were taught if we we're "righteous"  or " good" that we'd be given all  blessings.  What we don't realize is that we are never promised those said blessings in this life.  We go through life doing good and expecting the blessings to immediately or shortly thereafter follow.  I know that through our trials sometimes the only blessing we get is peace and assurance.  Eventually we come to realize that peace and assurance, however they come, are blessings in and of themselves.   

I work in a hospital for women with eating disorders. It can be a very negative place to work.  Some of these women have the most intense self hatred, self doubt and negative thinking about themselves.  They believe that if they lose a few more pounds they will be made whole in one way or another.  It is a daily war on the adversary.  One thing I have learned that has impacted me most is that being positive can change your life!  This small mental adjustment can change your life. 

It is also important for us to be able to distinguish between our emotions and our thoughts.  Our thoughts are what often become skewed in our desire to understand why we are not receiving that specific blessing.  Our minds will often tell us,  I am not having a child or getting married or I struggle because I am... not praying daily, not attending church, have messed up in the past. etc...  Sometimes it's more physical.  I am not getting this blessing because I am not taking care of my body or I was given this body because I am not loved or I am being punished for...  Whatever our mind is telling us we have to make sure we keep it in check.  The adversary WILL and does use our thoughts against us on a daily basis.  Especially in times of struggle.  On a normal day we usually dismiss these thoughts and go on with our day.  When we are going through something hard, these thoughts become truths.  

After every miscarriage my mind ALWAYS goes back to...you are not righteous enough.  Your body is broken, you are not a woman and your husband should marry someone else who can give him children.  I truly believed these things.  My inability to keep a pregnancy made me unworthy of love.  I was being punished for not doing what I was always told to do in order to receive blessings...or so I thought.  I knew it wasn't true in my heart even though in my upset mind it made complete sense.  My head was full of self depreciating thoughts but my heart was trying to tell me otherwise.  Eventually I got tired of feeling and being so negative.  I wanted to get back to who I was before.  I decided a change needed to happen.  Every time I had a self depreciating thought I would remind myself who that came from and that it wasn't true.  At first it was rough.  The thoughts wouldn't stop and they started to sound truthful.  Overtime it became more easy to counter those negative thoughts.  I started to actually believe the positive thoughts about myself and better yet, my thoughts were becoming more positive on their own!  I will never be the same person I was before we started this journey to have children.  I am okay with that because I am happy with who I am now even though I don't have children yet.    

Every person has a natural tendency to dwell on negativity.  It seems easier in the moment or maybe we don't notice the darkness seeping into our lives.  Getting to a positive place takes that little mustard seed.  Plant it, take care of it and it WILL grow!  I know that this life is full of injustices.  It is full of sorrow and horrible things.  I also know that life is BEAUTIFUL!  I know that each of us have an innate power to overcome the negativity when it unfolds in life.  If during our most negative moments we allow ourselves the thought that maybe we are wrong, a seed will be planted.  That seed will grow and we will have a garden so dense that negativity cannot contain it.

I encourage you to accentuate the positive.  Remember how you would treat someone going through a similar experience and then treat YOURSELF the same.  Anything that does not uplift or help you is NOT from you higher power.  It is from the one being who will never have a body.  His only mission is to make your life Hell.  He will use whatever means are necessary!  The more you counteract his dark arts the stronger you get.  I know that you are more powerful.  I know that as you counteract the negative with the positive you will become who you want to be.  You will be happy.  You will have the power to change lives.  You are amazing!